neuroticrobotic

Ominous ain't it?

So, last time Sam snagged a sassy hussy for a spouse. Shortly thereafter, Hel was born.
As you can see, he's already beginning to have his doubts about this shit.

Carl, however, has happily adjusted to being a sweet ol' grandpappy...

...who lusts after his daughter-in-law.
Carl: *is senile, and therefore blameless, except not really*

Did I mention Carl and Elsie have three bolts? THREE FUCKING BOLTS? *grinds teeth*

In a desperate attempt to ~~distractCarlfromhisunseemlyLUST~~ cheer up Carl after the death of Molly, I invited over an old friend. Sheepish child is sheepish for a reason.

~explanatory flashback~

So, once upon a time in a nearby apartment complex, Carl &needlecream's Enid were having a perfectly innocent conversation...

...that became something more.

Much MORE

Enid's supremely adorable potty training face for your viewing pleasure.

I named him Oz. D:
(When you get over the flagrantly bad parenting evident in this picture, you may be reminded of Max from Wild Things)

Anyhow, in the end, Enid still adores her baby daddy.

Oz: So, I'm your brother-in-law? Yeah, right. Pretty soon you'll be telling me that the toilet isn't the gate to goldfish heaven.

What's this? The passionate beginnings of our next potential heir?

Oh fuck you Elsie! Who the hell is that?
(for the record, I don't even know the answer)

Ah, but there is still hope!

Ha. Yeaaahhh... I don't think he'll be making it in to work today.
"Sorry, I had an urgent butt probe appointment from 5 am until noon."

Somehow, with all the infidelity and the abductions and the secret children stuff, I forgot to pay the bills. Soooo, the Repo Man showed up.

Ask me if I even care.

Go ahead, ASK.

Oh yeah. This is the soundtrack to his LIFE.

Surprise! Surprise! Sam is such a dedicated dolphin feeder(or whatever, I don't even remember), he actually goes to work fresh off the butt probe boat!

Carl: *shamelessly napstalking*

Oh. Yay. Double the fun.

The time came for Hel to evolve from a little worm into a bona fide toddler.
Elsie: *can smell the impending dooom*

D'awww....

And now that Hel is old enough to have fears, it's up to me to fulfill them.

Welcome to the rest of your long and miserable life, dear.

Carl, on the other hand, is living it up.

He may be retired, but he's still a fuckin' Rock Star.

Leslie: *stalks under the guise of art appreciation*

Does this whole family have the same taste in women? Possibly.

Sam: I can sense our unborn child is trying to tell me something!

Sam: Wait? What's that you say? Uh huh, uh huh...
Elsie: Aww, what is it saying?

Sam: My womb is better than yours!
Elsie's face: (speaks for itself)

Hel: *is a Francisco Goya fan girl or a normal toddler. YOU DECIDE*

Carl!
I love you!

I love you not!

(Actually, this picture is deceptive! You see, Elsie is sleeping in CARL'S bed. As such, it could be argued that she is sleep stalking. But! One cannot ignore that Carl's classic daydream stalking tactic is also being employed. Thus, this is a double stalk! Fuck you both.)

Elsie: N00B!

In keeping with the whole generation black lords-of-the-underworld-stuff, I named this little one Osiris.
HE IS GREEN. HOW PERFECT IS THAT?

Echo is still around, by the way! He just got old. :(

Echo: Is there no mercy?

You know what this means!

Say hello to the third, and (hopefully) last potential heir for generation three. I named him Pluto!
He is ginger, BUT he 's the son Sam (not the mystery redhead from above).