The Twombly Legacy 1.0

[neuroticrobotic]

Well, I figured it's now or never.




Our story begins with a mysterious twit dressed in yellow. That yellow twit happens to be Minnie Twombly who happens to be a fortune sim who happens to have the following stats:
Neat: 5
Outgoing: 6
Active: 7
Playful: 4
Nice: 3

She believes brown hair and facial hair are the finest qualities in a man and thinks stink is deplorable.



A house magically appears! Her cash magically disappears! (The boring nature of this photo also disappears due to !!!)



House is smustlicious, apparently.



It would seem that Minnie's greatest desire in life is to place the burden of gathering monies for future generations on furry friends. Wow, special.



Minnie seems to think this CRAZY HELL HOUND WHO IS DIGGING UP CONCRETE AS IF IT WERE POTTING SOIL (/capslock) should get a freaking job as it is a burden to society and her future driveway.



Them wacky whippasnappas. *Smustles with renewed passion*



Here's a shot of her humble abode.



As Ishe amis a whore for custom objects, we'll be ignoring that aspect of legacy rules.



Although, there will be no $1 Kansascityrose sleigh beds because that's just ridunkulous.



In order to fulfill super-ridunkulous fortune sim wants, you will probably notice all manner of garbage showing up on a regular basis(like lovely mr. bucket).



When the welcome wagon arrives, Minnie makes a point of going against her nature by allowing alien babe to steal away potential sperm donors.



This soon becomes irrelevant because the only two peen-possessors happen to passionately hate each other.

Ginger: Your boob offends me! A pox upon your house!
Mr. Messyhair: How dare you accuse my boob of wrongdoing?
Minnie: *fails*



Scowl-off! I declare Mr. Messy the winner, hands down.



Well, hello sailor. What a lovely walk-by with irresistible-sideburns-that-cannot-be-perceived-in-this-picture-for-whatever-reason you are.



Sideburns: Ohai guise! O M G didya noe that Mad-Eye Moody isn't weaallly Mad-Eye Moody?!
Boob-Brothers: How dare you interrupteth our boob battle with spoilers! $%9@&F!!




Boob-Brothers: *poke*
Alien Babe: *wins*
Minnie: *fails*



When Minnie finally makes an attempt at roping in some genetic material she discovers Sideburns should probably be named Dumdum or something of the like. Unnecessary subtitles are unnecessary.



Minnie: Hello stranger who is also dressed in yellow! I haven't the vaguest idea as to how you got my number and I've never met you previously but I'd looove to go booze it up.
Dumdum: *is oblivious*
Minnie: *tests shadow cat-like abilities on elbow*



Minnie seems slightly disappointed at the lack of smexy brown hair.



Eager to please these complete strangers, Minnie attempts to get a table. Too bad the hostess is a lying LIAR.



Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Dumdum: Oooh... I wonder if this ~lightbulb~ is brighter than I yam?



Waitress: *Amazes Minnie with unparalleled flexibility and creepiness*



Chile con carne should always be followed by smustling. The fellow in yellow produces evidence of a disturbing trend: Minnie is a fool magnet.



Dumdum: *Heartfarts over light bulb*



Well, lookie here! A bona fide brunette emu!



Minnie and emu have a snarly conversation about sunshine. It goes a lot better than it would appear. Leon(Blue hair) slowly emits teh stink.



Teh stink inspires thoughts of blood baths, Sicilian style.



Since Minnie isn't too far from succumbing to tehstink® as well, I decide to send her home.



Show some enthusiasm! Aren't you a fortunate sim? I stuck Minnie in the criminal career track as that's what she wanted.



I probably wouldn't mind cabbie/carpool/creeper in the gene pool at one point.



Minnie invites over Emu like the classy gal that she is.



The delicate Emu is actually named Stanley, I believe. This earns him points in my book.



Minnie: *sexyface*



Naturally, this leads to scandalous wardrobe impalement by pillows...



...and the irresistible sexy finger.



Minnie: +10
Sclera: -5



Leon: +100



Because I don't want Minnie to be deprived of options, I decide to inflict her charms on this other handsome walk-by



Yet, she seems to have other things on her mind...



Yup.



Eats,



sleeps,



and dreams emus.



Yet, I send her on a date regardless. But despite all the sexy faces



and dancing,
(Notice tender Stanley pretending not to notice! What a heart of gold!)



Minnie doesn't seem to be too into her date for whatever reason. *ponders*



When they finally make it to ye olde photoboothe, handsome walk-by immediately leaves with a "Yay! Starving!" look on his face. I imagine the spectators (and Leon in particular) were disappointed.






Now that she's found gambling? Yeah, she pretty much doesn't care about you no more.



I relent and let Stanley the emu come to live with Minnie. Although, she doesn't even have a crush on him for some reason? Despite attraction, high relationship score, etc?!



This could be why.
Emu: *is poorass*



Now, to discover what lady lovely locks has been concealing. For starters, Stanley is a Knowledge sim with the following traits:
Neat: 5
Outgoing: 0(!)
Active: 7
Playful: 8
Nice: 2

Aside from his whack-ass personality, his lifetime want is to reach the top of the Journalism career. He also has full cleaning points and is fairly creative and logical.



Yet another heart-felt promotion. I think I might have missed one, but whatever.



OMG PUPPY! Yeah, I figured I'd better get Minnie started on her crazy dogz4dough scheme.



Minnie: Think of all the monies I could make from PUPPIES! *has Cruella de Vil moment?*
Me: *had no idea that was how Cruella de Vil was spelled?*



Hoping to solve Minnie's lack of crush, I decide to give Stanley sideburns and fivehead.



Although Stanley seems to think he's got it in the bag, his alien fivehead is simply probing Minnie's Simoleon encrusted brain.



Spatulas are always what comes to mind after a romp in the hay.



Fun fact #1
Stanley should theoretically find Minnie unattractive because he seems to prefer stinky perfume to make-up. Why is it Minnie has the problem crushing? *smells stench of buggeration*



You know, I can't help but think I'd have other things on my mind if I had this bathroom door guillotine thing goin' on. To each their own, I guess.